Heavy heart

My heart is heavy.  I cared for a child from when she was 4 months to age 2 and a half.  Her mother was having difficulties and needed help.  Not foster care but respite care.  I cared for this child at least 5 days out of 7 and sometimes weeks at a time.  This child was sick a lot and I stayed up with her in the middle of the night.   I even brought her home from the hospital after she was discharged from the hospital after being sick.  I was there when she began to crawl and her first step.  The reason my heart is heavy is because her mother decided that I can no longer see her.  No reason was given.  She just stop taking my calls and when I tried to visit, was told she wasn't there.  It's been 9 months since I've seen her and her birthday is coming up soon.  She was with me on her 1st. birthday.   I have grieved the loss of her even though she is still living.  It was so hard to look at her pictures.  I just now packed her things because looking at them made my cry.  She was part of our family and always will be.  My children loved her.  They keep asking me not to get rid of her clothes and toys but I need closure.  I don't want this to be the end but my hands are tied.  I pray for her daily that God protect her.  I even pray for her mother.  It wasn't easy but I knew I had to forgive.  God doesn't want us to hold grudges or anger.  It only hurts us not the person.   It is freedom in forgiveness but her birthday just opened the wound again.